Creative Writing

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

There have been many points in my life when I was in pain; when I couldn’t breathe, when my eyes were stinging, when my stomach hurt. There have been many times in my life when I cried and wiped away spontaneous tears while screaming the word stop repeatedly. At these moments, I was laughing hysterically. I was happy. I was myself. These times were shared with my best friend Ashley Rose Turner and they were the best times of my life.
Sitting in American History class my junior year of high school things looked pretty dismal. The blank, white walls laughed at me because I was stuck here, made to study a subject I held no interest in. I knew a few people in the class, but weren’t very close with any of them. Ashley sat next to me, pale skinned and dark haired, quite, but smiling. We were acquaintances, politely exchanging ‘hello’s and laughing at Mr. Coleman’s wild antics. We enjoyed each other’s company in class and that was it, no other real effort was made to hang out until later.
Ashley and I began hanging out more and more, connecting on different levels and just being ourselves together. We hung out at her house, listening to music, watching movies, planning on writing a novel together, building our lives around being best friends. We went to lunch together, In-N-Out, to be precise and inhaled cheeseburgers while washing them down our adolescent throats with cool Dr. Pepper. We went everywhere together. Ashley and I were inseparable. Then, it happened.
Ashley has heinous parents; the kind who set a curfew, then calls three hours before it and told her to come home “just because.” The kind of parents that never talked to their daughter’s friends when they were over, the kind that were enemies rather than friends. Ashley never trusted her parents and never told them anything. This still is true today. So, when Ashley found out she was pregnant, and I was the only one there, I was automatically obligated to hold her secret close to my heart. That was the moment in my life when I knew that everything was going to change.
Needless to say, we went through our fair share of situations that made us grow up much too fast. We cried more tears than I thought either one of us could produce. We became each others strong holds to get through circumstances no sixteen-year-olds should go through. I can honestly say that one of the most emotional times of my life was shared with someone weaker than me. In this way, I thank Ashley for forcing me to be stronger.
When I moved to school, it was hard for both of us to find time for each other again. At this point, Ashley’s parents knew about the pregnancy, so Ashley was on house arrest. She was able to visit once, and I would try to come home when I could and hang out, but things were different. Awkward silences ensued consistently at her house, as well as the intolerable feeling that I wasn’t wanted around the Turner residence. I wouldn’t say Ashley and I grew apart, but we hit a plateau in our friendship, just waiting for it to sky-rocket again, and it would.
I would say that Ashley and I have grown closer just within this last year. Maybe it is because this has been the first time in a long time that I haven’t been jaded by a boyfriend. Being single always helps. We went to shows, took photographs, spent days doing nothing, and watched movies. Ashley and I talked daily and our friendship grew fast and strong. Everything was perfect. Then she called me and told me what I never wanted to hear.
“I’m moving to New Mexico.”
Apparently, Ashley loves shaking our relationship up every once in a while.
I didn’t know what to think and to be honest none of it hit me until she was already gone. There was nothing you could say that would convince me it was true. I didn’t believe her until it was happening. We had a large party, spent as much time as we could together, but somehow it still feels like it wasn’t enough. The saying, “you don’t know what you have until it’s gone” never applied to Ashley. I knew what I had and I never wanted it to leave.
August 7, 2006 Ashley moved to New Mexico. We talk almost daily. We cry more tears than I thought either of us could produce. We are each other’s strong holds and are still ourselves together. There are still times when I am in pain, when I can’t breathe, when my eyes are stinging and when my stomach hurts. There are still times when I wipe away spontaneous tears while screaming the word stop repeatedly. And although she isn’t here with me, Ashley will always be the best moments of my life.


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